Is this thing still on??




Ya know, I really like getting feedback. But, I also hope that none of my friends still read this. My friends all think that they can read my stuff and see how much my life sucks and they can say "There, there, it will be OK". Well, it WON'T be OK. It is never going to be OK. MY LIFE SUCKS!! I'm one of those people that is destined to be sad and lonely until my stupid little life ends. And none of my friends can accept that fact. Hell, they can't even believe it. If only they could actually spend some time in my skin. A sane person would totally crack from the loneliness I endure on a daily basis.

I had a "boys night out" with 3 of my friends a couple weekends ago. I did have a really good time. I was the oldest one of the group, yet, I was the only one that isn't married. And all these guys had these stories from their pasts to tell about their sexual conquests. And what was I going to contribute? How many times I jacked off the past week? Woo-Hoo, real excitement there!! Or, I could talk about the last time I actually did have sex. Of course, since it was about a year and a half ago, I don't think it would sound like I was bragging or anything. I can hear it now "Really, it has been that long???". Yep, how pathetic! And what makes it worse, I haven't even had a date since then. I can't even seem interesting enough for a female to sit across a table from me, have her dinner paid for, and have a conversation with me for a couple hours. I've got to be in the top 1% of losers on the planet.

A couple weeks ago on a Wednesday night, I met a couple friends for karaoke. Another girl showed up that we had known from when I just started singing. We hadn't seen her in awhile. She is the kind of girl that I could see myself dating easily. Only problem, even in my wildest fantasies, I can't see her scraping the bottom of the barrel to actually want to date me. And what made things worse, I had a crush on her before and it came rushing back to the surface. It was kind of like having my face rubbed in what I cannot have. Oh Gabby, why did you show up that Wednesday night???