Just a lonely Friday night



Yep, here I am, sitting home alone on a Friday night. It SUCKS!! It really, really SUCKS!!!! I took today off of work (vacation day). I have a 4 day weekend. And I won't have a single chance to meet anyone I can possibly date. Zero chances. The only plans I have are for Saturday night. I have a ticket to go to the Def Leppard, Styx & Foreigner concert. That is going to be a good time. But that is my only plans all 4 days. I'm really getting sick of this complete lack of a life that I have. Maybe if I hit the lotto I could buy me a life. I know I could buy friends. People that would make me the center of their lives as long as I was paying for everything. I could handle that. Maybe I wouldn't be so lonely. That is a really sad thought however. I need to win the lotto to find happiness. Maybe I should hold my breath???

I know, don't freak out...



Yep, postings two days in a row. Who would a thunk it? I don't really have anything new to report. Just went to work today. It wasn't too busy today. Came home and I watched Police Academy 4. I have the box sex of all 7. So, I'm working my way through them. Just watching some shows on Court TV now. Bait Car. I had never heard of it before. Funny to see the complete dumb-asses stealing these cars then telling stories about how they did nothing wrong. Yep, criminals are such dumb-asses.

I think tonight I'm actually going to get to bed earlier than normal. I've been up late almost every night lately. And for no good reasons. Tonight, I may be upstairs in bed around 10. I'm sure it is directly related to my staying up late, but, I've been so tired all the time lately. Of course it could also be my poor diet and my complete lack of exercise. Doesn't really matter, I figure it is just a matter of time before my health lets me die in my sleep. At least that is the plan. LOL. I won't have to deal with my constant loneliness if I can just die in my sleep. Of course I probably won't get that lucky. I can only hope.

Is this thing still on??




Ya know, I really like getting feedback. But, I also hope that none of my friends still read this. My friends all think that they can read my stuff and see how much my life sucks and they can say "There, there, it will be OK". Well, it WON'T be OK. It is never going to be OK. MY LIFE SUCKS!! I'm one of those people that is destined to be sad and lonely until my stupid little life ends. And none of my friends can accept that fact. Hell, they can't even believe it. If only they could actually spend some time in my skin. A sane person would totally crack from the loneliness I endure on a daily basis.

I had a "boys night out" with 3 of my friends a couple weekends ago. I did have a really good time. I was the oldest one of the group, yet, I was the only one that isn't married. And all these guys had these stories from their pasts to tell about their sexual conquests. And what was I going to contribute? How many times I jacked off the past week? Woo-Hoo, real excitement there!! Or, I could talk about the last time I actually did have sex. Of course, since it was about a year and a half ago, I don't think it would sound like I was bragging or anything. I can hear it now "Really, it has been that long???". Yep, how pathetic! And what makes it worse, I haven't even had a date since then. I can't even seem interesting enough for a female to sit across a table from me, have her dinner paid for, and have a conversation with me for a couple hours. I've got to be in the top 1% of losers on the planet.

A couple weeks ago on a Wednesday night, I met a couple friends for karaoke. Another girl showed up that we had known from when I just started singing. We hadn't seen her in awhile. She is the kind of girl that I could see myself dating easily. Only problem, even in my wildest fantasies, I can't see her scraping the bottom of the barrel to actually want to date me. And what made things worse, I had a crush on her before and it came rushing back to the surface. It was kind of like having my face rubbed in what I cannot have. Oh Gabby, why did you show up that Wednesday night???