Friday is here



Well, here it is, another Friday. And I may not even leave the house tonight. Really not sure. Depends on comedian buddy. If he calls and says to meet him somewhere, then I'm going out. If he calls and says he doesn't feel like going out, then I save some bucks and get to watch more stuff on TV or on DVD. Wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Of course, the odds of me finding a girlfriend while sitting home alone watching TV are very slim. Of course those are about the odds I have of finding a girlfriend no matter where I am or what I'm doing. For instance, today I placed my 3rd Craigslist posting in 3 days. The only replies to the first 2 don't seem to be going anywhere. The one posted today hasn't been on long enough to see if I get any replies. If I had to bet money on it, I would say I don't get any replies from anyone that leads to anything. But, I've got to keep trying. Craigslist is my only real hope of finding someone.

And one day closer to death



Ho Hum. Another boring day in another boring life. Another lonely, sad day in another lonely, sad life. I guess I should be really bummed about it, but, I'm actually getting used to it. Of course, that doesn't make it easier to live with. Just easier to plan for tomorrow. Yes, there will be a tomorrow. I'm not lucky enough for that not to happen. And, as much as I wish tomorrow wouldn't arrive for me, I'm unable or unwilling to change that fact.

OK, enough of that. So, I believe I have mentioned that I have been putting postings out on Craigslist and answering other postings. And I mentioned that my last on I posted on Tuesday was a bust. I only got 2 replies and 1 was from a guy. The other reply was from a girl that seems fairly nice. We have been emailing back and forth, but, it isn't going anywhere past emails. She has made that perfectly clear. That's OK. Just another example of my total inability to get a date. If I had a nickle for every girl that didn't want to date me......., yep, I'd be a rich man. Then I could actually be happy. I could buy peoples friendship and attention. LOL. Well, this isn't exactly where I was headed with the paragraph. OK, back on track now. I posted again today. I didn't tie it down to asking for a date for a specific night. As of now, I have gotten the big ZERO replies. I'm not sure how long I am going to keep posting on Craigslist. I'm getting no results. I know I'm going to do this however, I'm going to let my comedian buddy's girlfriend write and post something for me. Maybe she can package me in such a manner to be more appealing. I've seen others do it on Craigslist, so, what the hell. The only way it will hurt is that I will get my hopes up and be smashed on the rocks again. Oh-well.

Don't know what I'm doing this coming weekend yet. I have to wait for comedian buddy to call me on Friday to let me know if he feels like getting out. Or, he may have his daughter, so, he wouldn't do anything that way either. So, I may be sitting at home, alone, watching DVD's on Friday night. We will probably do something Saturday night. Even when he stays home on Friday night, he usually goes out on Saturday night. He performs comedy every Saturday night, so, we usually meet somewhere afterwards. I guess he figures if he is already out, he can stay out longer and do something with me. If by chance we don't do anything this weekend.... then I'm home alone for the entire weekend. That just goes back to my sad and lonely life.

You do know, not everyone lives happily ever after, right? It is some people's destiny to never find happiness. I have a very real feeling that I am one of those people. But, fear not. I am not angry about it. I am not going to go "postal" or anything. I'm the type that will just disappear. I'll get all my affairs in order. I'll make sure someone is taking care of my cats. I'll give notice at my job (don't want to leave them hanging). And, I will just disappear. I would love that. Don't leave anyone wondering about me. I could disappear right now and there wouldn't be may people wondering about me anyway. So, if I just tell everyone I'm going away for a long time.... they would all forget about me soon enough. Yep, that's what I wish could happen. But, I'm never that lucky. I'm afraid I'll just have to finish my days right here where I am. Try to hide my complete dispair from everyone. Shouldn't be too hard, I've been doing it for so long now...

Life goes on?





Well, it has been a little while since Ben's closed. Not one single weekend has gone by since that I've had a good time. A bit of good news, the karaoke DJ got a gig on Tuesday nights at the LBG. That is the Lakewood Bar & Grill. Comedian buddy and I used to go there on Tuesday nights for karaoke. They changed DJ's several times and we quit going. Now, we know the DJ and, 3 of the staff from Ben's are working there also. So, between the 3 staff members, the karaoke DJ and a bunch of Ben's regulars that have migrated, it felt comfortable. We did that for his 1st night there. Last night (Tuesday) we went to McCarty's for the comedy night. It pretty much sucked. Comedian buddy didn't perform. The weather sucked, the crowd sucked & some of the comedians didn't put much effort into performing for a small sucky crowd. Not very enjoyable all in all.

I have been doing lots on Craigslist. I've probably put about 20 or more posting out there and I've answered a handful. I have exchanged emails with some ladies, but, nothing has ever progressed past that point. I posted one yesterday asking for a date for last night. I got 2 replies. The first from a 27 year old girl. We exchanged emails all afternoon. I felt we were really clicking. Unfortunately, she lives in Fort Worth (too far to commute to date), does NOT want to date me & does NOT want any kind of relationship. She just wants to exchange emails with someone new. Ya want to know the saddest thing about it. I'm actually feeling very sad that she has not sent me any email today. As far as I know, she is done with me. Who knows? The only other reply I got was from a guy saying he thought my posting was really creative and it made him feel better about his own posting.

Well, I'm outta here for now. Gotta go check my inbox for email. Then it is back to work.

News FLASH: Ben's Half Yard House closed



Yep, it finally happened. Ben's Half Yard House has closed. For me, this is the beginning of the end. For me, Ben's was my Cheers. I could walk in alone and "know" a dozen or more people at any given time. I knew most of the staff and they knew me and knew my regular drink and regular snack (queso & chips). I knew the 2 co-owners. I knew lots of the regulars. I could always find someone to chat with. And now they are closed. The final night they were open (a Saturday night), I actually cried on the way home. Think what you want, it was like I lost a close friend.

See, here is how it is... I have 2 close friends that I do things with. Comedian buddy and his girlfriend. Comedian buddy has always expressed his dislike of the DFW area and his intent to move elsewhere once his youngest child is out of high school. That is only a few years away. His girlfriend has also let it be known that she isn't tied to this area. So, they WILL move away at some point in time. That will leave me all alone. Ben's was the place I could go even when I was heading out alone. And now.... nowhere to go. So I will be spending alot of time in front of the TV by myself. The good thing is if I don't go out, I won't be disappointed by seeing all these attractive women that want nothing to do with me. Small upside to being lonely.