Should I have hope?




'Ello peoples. Well, I did it. I went out last night. Got ahold of comedian buddy and met him at Ben's Half Yard House. I got in 2 songs and he got in 3. I wasn't completely happy with mine. The first one, "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi, I cracked on a note. Sounded just like I had hit puberty onstage. The second one, "Billy the Kid" by Billy Dean, it just took me a little bit to get comfortable with it. I hadn't done that one in awhile. So, not my best night of singing, but, far from my worst I'm sure. Tonight comedian buddy said he is going to McCarty's, so, that is what the plans are for tonight. He needs to verify that he will be performing there on New Year's Eve. He also let me know that he has to be there on Tuesday night. The comedian that normally MC's is on vacation and my buddy said he would fill in.

Now, onward to this post's title: "Should I have hope?". It is a real question I am asking. I am 41 years old. 42 in less than 3 months. I have never been married. And, never REAL close. So, should I HONESTLY still have hope that it can happen. I do know the answer. I should not continue to pretend that it can still happen. The only person that I have been fooling is myself, and, I can't even pull that off any longer. Usually, I can hold out that little bit of hope that someone will answer an email that I sent through a dating website. But, I am not a paying member of any of them now. So, no paid membership, no emails. I also don't have any upcoming events that I can tell myself will be real good opportunities to meet anyone. OK, New Year's Eve is the one single chance I have. If I don't meet anyone that night, then my chances come to an end. Yea, yea, yea, I know, "You always have chances". But that isn't the truth. When I am in a club and I get ZERO interest by everyone in the place, it is time to face the truth. I AM NOT GOOD DATING/MARRIAGE MATERIAL. Let's be honest, I wouldn't even want to date me. And, if everyone reading is COMPLETELY HONEST, they would say the same thing. OK, even if I was the opposite sex, nobody would want to date me. So, after New Year's Eve, I should honestly start to prepare for my declining years being alone.

Until next time, don't get your panties in a wad.

Back to Texas

Well, vacation is over. It is back to the daily grind. I really wasn't looking forward to coming back to work and, as today is drawing to an end, I haven't changed my mind. If anything, I am wishing I wasn't here even more.

First, let's get everyone filled in about my vacation. OK, Pretty good flight up. We went to the Mall of America one day. Ate lunch there. Went to Snoopy land for awhile. I bought 2 pair of Van's at the Van's store. I made a karaoke video for my step-mom for Christmas. we rode the light rail from the mall to downtown and back. My nephew LOVES trains. We ate dinner at Hooter's. Left the mall and went back to my Step-mom's house. One day we went to Wal-Mart. Ate at White Castle that day. One day we went to meet a friend of my sisters. We went to eat at a pizza place then went back to here home and let my sister's kids play with her kid. One day we went to another small town and walked around looking at holiday decorations and then we ate at a soda fountain. Stopped at the park for the kids to play on the way home. Went to see my dad's tombstone. We spent most of the rest of our time at home. Just kicked back, reading books (I got finished with 2 and started on a 3rd), watching some TV, sleeping in, letting "Grandma Katie" play with the grandkids.

Now, I'm sure you noticed, this vacation REALLY centered around my sister's family. The ONLY thing I did because I WANTED to was to go to the Mall and shop at the Van's store. Now, don't get me wrong. It was a good vacation. It is just harder to enjoy when I don't have a family to share like my sister does.

Now to what you have all been waiting for - - - - - - - - - - - - the depressing part of the posting. Does anyone out there know just how many attractive ladies are at an airport? What about at the Mall of America in Snoopy Land? Let me tell ya: LOTS !!! And if it doesn't suck big ones sitting and seeing them all as they pass without so much as a tiny glance in my direction.... I sure don't know what does suck. That was probably one of the worst things I've had to experience in awhile. The typical "kid in a candy store" scenerio. And I hated it !! If I could stand not being near fast food places, I could really see me living in a small cabin in the middle of nowhere. I could be the Unibomber 2. Not that I want to bomb anyone. I couldn't even do that for pleasure.

Well, enough of my WONDERFUL life for now. Later.

Minnesota posting



Here it is, Saturday 12/16/06. Middle of my vacation. Not doing alot. Kicking back. Taking it easy. I finished reading a book that I have been reading for about a year. It just wasn't hooking me enough to keep picking it up and finish it off. Luckily I brought another book.

We did go to the Mall of America. I did buy my 2 pair of Vans. I got some nice walking around done. Maybe a bit of exercise, which, is very good for me. I do have to admit, when at the mall I was getting really, really depressed. Seeing all the couples with their kids. I am really learing to hate seeing happy families. I was so happy to get out of there. Even when I would see a single girl that I was interested in, I realized it would do no good to connect with anyone this far from home.

I don't know if I've mentioned this in a prior posting, but, my online dating site membership has expired. So, right now, I have absolutely ZERO chances of meeting anyone. OK, maybe not 0%, maybe more like 0.000000000000001% chance of meeting someone. It just isn't happening. So, please just realize I am not going to be happy as long as I am living. It just isn't going to happen.

Well, back to my vacation "chilling". Later.

You might think...




OK, some of you faithful (hahaha, I might still have one) readers might have mistaken the time between postings lately as a sign that I've been using my spare time with a new lady friend. And, any of you who think that is the case, you are STUPID!!! Now, repeat after me: CHRIS IS NEVER GOING TO FIND A WOMEN. CHRIS WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. OK, from now on, if you EVER start to think that I might have met someone, just say those 2 sentences over and over until you remember just how hopeless things are for me.

Just to completely catch everyone up on my love life, here it is in a nutshell. Nothing! OK, one phone call from one person. I had sent an "icebreaker" to a girl on the dating website that I'm currently a member of. She responded, I sent an email, she responded. She asked for my phone number, I gave it to her. She gave me a call. That call was more than a week ago. Since then, not a peep. So, judging by the lack of any contact since then, her interest level in me is pretty low. If there is any interest at all. My membership on this site ends in a couple days and I am NOT going to renew it. I don't know why I keep throwing my money away trying to find someone. I know I never will.

Well, now that we have cleared that up.... Actually, my lack of postings lately can be directly attributed to my increase in work. I've been getting consistance overtime at work the past several months. At first, I was really happy for the extra money. Actually, I still am happy about that. But, I am really beginning to wear down physically. I'm not worried about it (you know my theory, if I work myself to death, then I actually don't have to be unhappy any longer). But, I really am in need of some time off. Luckily, that time comes in just a few days. I am going on vacation starting Wednesday the 13th and coming back the next Wednesday the 20th. I'm really hopeful that recharges my batteries for awhile.

Speaking of overtime, I am actually at work right now. So, I'm gonna get back to doing what I'm getting paid to do. Later loyal peeps.