October already???


Well, here it is, a new month. And my life just keeps crumbling down around me. OK, not exactly that bad, but, it sure isn't going in the direction I want.

I've been a member of an online dating site for over a month now and, nothing concrete. I have one person that I'm exchanging email with. I don't have her personal email address, so, it could end at any time without me being able to do anything about it.

Another weekend went by without me even hearing from comedian buddy. I sent him emails trying to see if he wanted to do anything with me on Friday night and again on Saturday night. Not even a quick email. Nothing. I'm beginning to get that feeling that another friend has dropped me like bad news. I'm not even sure what I've done. OK, I don't actually think I've "done" anything. The only possible answer is that I really am "disposable". Once someone stops hanging out with me, they realize they really aren't missing anything. I bring nothing to the table, so to speak. I'm gonna keep trying to get ahold of him for a few more weeks. I might get lucky and find out he has just been really, really busy. But, if I'm unable to get ahold of him and I get no return calls or emails from him, then I guess I should just stop trying.

I did go out to Ben's on Saturday night. It was pretty dead and I was able to sing 3 songs. Of course I looked like a total loser sitting by myself. I will admit, I'm not adjusting very well. I have a hard time making myself go out. I just want to hibernate at home and watch TV then go to sleep. I know I'm gonna die here in my condo and nobody will even know. My boss will be the only person to actually "miss" me. And he won't actually miss ME, he will just be pissed that he has to find someone to cover my workload.