Didn't die in my sleep!


Well, I lived through another night. Dammit! For me, the best thing that could happen would be to just die in my sleep one night. The only things I look forward to in my pathetic little life are things like TV shows and singing at karaoke. Certainly nothing to fulfil my life. And, things aren't going to change. I've accepted that fact.

Went out on Friday and Saturday night. Both nights to Ben's Half Yard House. On Friday night, they showed the Rocky Horror Picture Show and they had the only troupe in the DFW area that still performs live. It was REALLY, REALLY cool. Saturday night was karaoke at Ben's. I sang 2 songs. It was a couple of fun nights. But, both nights were very much the same as the rest of my life. I couldn't meet a girl even if I was giving away money. Luckily I was able to drink enough to dull the pain both nights. But, what kind of life is that? When you have to drink lots just to make it through a night? What is my other choice? Stay at home all the time? Yep, I might as well be dead.

Cowboys vs. Eagles today


Here it is, Sunday. Sitting here watching the Giants/Redskins game. After this game, it is the Dallas game. I really hope we can beat Philly.

Well, regarding the past couple nights.... Things have been... OK. I was feeling good early last week. Got a call from comedian buddy. He let me know he was going to be able to head out on Friday and Saturday nights. So, Friday night we went to Ben's Half Yard House. It was a good night. I did have an unusual experience. Comedian buddy, his girlfriend, myself and a few other people we know were all chatting and we chatted with another couple that I hadn't previously met. We all chatted most of the night. Shortly before closing, the female half of the couple came over to me and pressed against me and put her arm around me. Started talking to me again. Mentioned that she is a swinger. Her hubby put his head over her shoulder and confirmed that she is a swinger. She remained against me like that until the manager came around kicking everyone out. They left quickly, before I could even get my mind to think clearly about what I had been told. I guess it was a good thing all in all. I'm sure the sex would have been enjoyable. But, I think emotionally I wouldn't have been very happy with it. As it was, I REALLY, REALLY liked having a nice, warm female body pressed against me. God, I am so lonely.

Last night (Sat), we went to Ben's Half Yard House again. I had to work yesterday, so I went in for almost 2 hours. I left work at 10 and went straight to Ben's. It was pretty dead, so I turned in a song and only had to wait about 3 songs before I was up. I ended the evening with 4 songs under my belt even though it was a short night (since I didn't even get there until 10:30ish). Comedian buddy and his girlfriend met me there around midnight. A couple girls we know from LBG (our Tuesday night karaoke place) showed up. I still like both of them so much. If you could take the body of one and the mind/personality of the other and put them together.... You would have the perfect woman for me. I had really high hopes for the evening. I don't know why, I never meet anyone anywhere. But for some reason, I felt really optimistic about last night. I wore my best "to attract women" shirt. I had a fair amount to drink so I was pretty loosened up. But, it was not to be. Just another crash and burn night. I guess it was enjoyable overall since I did get to sing more than normal. I just feel my opportunities to meet women are getting fewer and fewer and I'm gonna end up with nobody.

On a different note, I had another lady return one of my icebreakers on my dating site. So, last night after I got home, I sent her an email. Who knows, maybe that will go somewhere. Of course, just as likely, it could end up that she doesn't even respond. Ya just never know.

Until next time.... see ya!

Hello, Hooray....


Let the show begin, I've been ready. OK, that was just a quick Alice Cooper lyric. Today I'm feeling pretty darn good. The last few days, I've actually had some energy. I've been feeling sorta, kinda good. I left work early today and got a few things accomplished. I got my tags for my Rodeo. Feelin' good about getting that done. I also got my hair cut. I was way overdue. I feel alot better getting that done. And, I hit the grocery store. Got me $250 worth of goods. I had been putting that off also. So, I really got alot done today.

Another reason for feeling good is that I got an email from comedian buddy. I had emailed him yesterday to try to find out if he wanted to do anything on Tuesday. He returned the email and said he's gonna go to karaoke. So, that's where I'll be tomorrow night. If by chance he doesn't show and doesn't email or call to let me know... then I'm gonna be pissed.

But for now..... I'm flying high!

October already???


Well, here it is, a new month. And my life just keeps crumbling down around me. OK, not exactly that bad, but, it sure isn't going in the direction I want.

I've been a member of an online dating site for over a month now and, nothing concrete. I have one person that I'm exchanging email with. I don't have her personal email address, so, it could end at any time without me being able to do anything about it.

Another weekend went by without me even hearing from comedian buddy. I sent him emails trying to see if he wanted to do anything with me on Friday night and again on Saturday night. Not even a quick email. Nothing. I'm beginning to get that feeling that another friend has dropped me like bad news. I'm not even sure what I've done. OK, I don't actually think I've "done" anything. The only possible answer is that I really am "disposable". Once someone stops hanging out with me, they realize they really aren't missing anything. I bring nothing to the table, so to speak. I'm gonna keep trying to get ahold of him for a few more weeks. I might get lucky and find out he has just been really, really busy. But, if I'm unable to get ahold of him and I get no return calls or emails from him, then I guess I should just stop trying.

I did go out to Ben's on Saturday night. It was pretty dead and I was able to sing 3 songs. Of course I looked like a total loser sitting by myself. I will admit, I'm not adjusting very well. I have a hard time making myself go out. I just want to hibernate at home and watch TV then go to sleep. I know I'm gonna die here in my condo and nobody will even know. My boss will be the only person to actually "miss" me. And he won't actually miss ME, he will just be pissed that he has to find someone to cover my workload.