Mr. Disposable


Have you ever had a thought pop into your mind and you knew instantly that it was right? You might not have even been searching for that answer, but, it is 100% correct. I had that happen tonight. After not going out the last 2 Saturdays, and not going out last night (Friday night) and not going out last Tuesday night, I decided I would go out even if I had to go alone. So, I'm sitting at Ben's Half Yard House drinking my rum & cokes and this thought pops into my head. I'm honestly amazed that I have never realized this before. Here it is: I am a disposable friend! Yep, that's the thought that popped into my head. Even before I started to look back at my life I knew it was true. I'm a person that other people think of as a "friend" when it is convienent for them. When they need an extra person to hang out with. When they need someone to do things with. But, as soon as they have a real friend, I'm "disposable". Yep, kicked to the curb. Why else would people that I used to do things with on a weekly basis all of a sudden not be able to find the time to even pick up the phone and give me a quick call? I'm not happy to realize what I am to others, but, it does answer lots of questions. Such as why 4 of my closest friends all got married and I wasn't best man at ANY of their weddings. At one time or another in my life, I have considered all 4 of them my best friend. Yet never a best man. Ding! Disposable friend.

Well, enough for now. I've gotta get to bed and try to get some sleep. Even though the song is true: This empty bed is a night alone.